


You Need To Stop Leaving Dead Bodies In The Kitchen

by peridoll



Series: Writing Prompts (Ficlets) [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 02:51:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15654240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peridoll/pseuds/peridoll
Summary: Bismuth has a secret job that she's pretty bad at hiding and Peridot keeps coming home to her bloody messes. Human AU. Ficlet.





	You Need To Stop Leaving Dead Bodies In The Kitchen

**Author's Note:**

> This idea has been in my brain for like a YEAR, so I had to get it out of my system. Just something short and fun, this prompt in particular just called to me. (Prompt from here: http://peridoll.tumblr.com/post/146620173687/ridiculous-sentence-prompts)

The lock clunked as Peridot wrenched the key sideways, heaving open the heavy wooden door with an effortful grunt. Her work bag dropped to the floor, and, plunged into darkness, the only source of light being the moon streaming through the tiny kitchen window, the girl stumbled tiredly to the sink. She poured herself a glass of water, rubbing at her groggy eyes, and squinted at the bright red numbers on the oven. 12:54. She figured her roommate had already fallen asleep, though she was an astonishingly light sleeper. Her stomach growling, Peridot sidestepped to the fridge and tugged open the door.

A detached arm, still wearing the bloody sleeve, tumbled out onto the floor with a sickening slap, a halo of refrigerator light surrounding it.

Peridot sighed, unable to produce the energy to care about  _ another _ dead body. At least this one was stuffed in the fridge instead of laying in the middle of the floor. She gave the arm a nudge with the toe of her shoe, then spun around. “ _ BISMUTH! _ ” 

Peridot stood with her arms crossed sternly over her chest as her roommate barreled out of her room down the hallway. “What, what?!” she shouted back, smoothing down her t-shirt, that had ridden up in her assumed panic to fling herself out of bed. “Oh, shit- you’re home! Welcome home, there are some leftovers in the fridge- oh. Oh.” Peridot raised an eyebrow, leaning over to flip on the overhead kitchen light, revealing the bloody mess on the tiles. Her roommate bumbled, pointing a concerned finger down at the limb. “Right. That. Uh…”

“Bismuth, I can’t do this anymore!” Peridot barked, throwing her arms up in defeat. “I’m getting too desensitized to seeing body parts! That’s not normal! Not to mention, it smells like rotting flesh in here  _ constantly _ , and you think a candle and a couple air fresheners will fix it? You need to stop leaving dead bodies in my kitchen!” The frantic girl paced into the living room, tracking red footsteps across the floor. Bismuth cringed, grabbing Peridot’s elbow to stop her. 

“I know, I’m sorry! And hey- it’s my kitchen, too,” she defended, tossing her thick dreadlocks over her shoulder.

“Yes, it’s a  _ kitchen _ , not a morgue!” Peridot snapped back, her boots sticking and squelching. “I know you said not to ask any questions about your profession, but I’m getting rightfully suspicious of you! This is the third body this week! And it’s only Wednesday!” 

“Listen, it won’t happen again, I promise-”

“You said that last night! And the night before!” Peridot ripped her arm from Bismuth’s grasp, faltering backward. “And I know you’re lying. What medical professor keeps their test subjects in their own fridge?! And- aren’t dead bodies supposed to be  _ frozen _ ?!” With a seething snarl, Peridot stormed down the hallway, chased closely by Bismuth. “That’s it, I’m out of here. I can’t deal with this anymore, it’s getting out of hand.” She untied her headscarf, chucking it onto her bed and letting her mess of crimped curls down. Suddenly, Bismuth grabbed her, cupping a large, cool hand over her mouth, and shoved her into the tiny closet.

“ _ Ssh,  _ stay down,” Bismuth hissed, lowering Peridot to the floor beneath her hung up clothes. She reached deeper into the garments, and, from god knows where, produced a handgun with a silencer. Peridot’s jaw dropped, and she was about to say something, but Bismuth hushed her again. She snuck back out of the closet, and, heart pounding against her chest, Peridot curled up, covered her own mouth, and listened closely. She heard Bismuth’s heavy footsteps, some rustling, and a nearly inaudible  _ ping _ . She waited with tense, baited breath as footsteps approached, and she squeezed her eyes shut. ‘ _ Is this it? Is this how I die?’  _

She yelped as she was scooped up from the closet and placed back down on her room’s shaggy carpet. Bismuth had returned, sweat beading across her forehead, but she was alive. Peridot, mere frustration now replaced with confused rage, gave her roommate a rough shove, though the brickhouse of a woman barely budged. “Bismuth, what the fuck?! Tell me what’s going on!  _ Now _ .”

“Alright, pipsqueak, you don’t scare me,” Bismuth dismissed Peridot simply, tucking the gun into the back of her pants. 

Peridot stuttered over her next words, mind whirling like mad. “Well, apparently nothing scares you! What the hell was that gun doing in my closet?!”

Bismuth tilted her head, eyebrows scrunching together, her dark eyes flickering with hurt. “I put it there just in case. I was just trying to protect you,” she mewed, holding out her hands to her roommate. Peridot gave her wrist a slap, and the woman recoiled. “Ouch! What the heck was that for?!”

“Protect me from what, Bismuth?” Peridot pried, but the woman waved a hand at her, pointing back towards the closet. 

“You’re right, we have to get out of here. It’s not safe anymore,” she started, then dropped to her knees, reaching under Peridot’s bed. She slid out a shotgun, and Peridot jumped back. “Grab some clothes and whatever else you’ll need for a couple weeks. We gotta go.”

“You put a gun under my bed, too?!” With an exhausted howl, Peridot dramatically flung herself onto her mattress, burying her face into the pillow. “I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on!” she shouted against the soft fabric, voice muffled slightly. Her bed squeaked and tilted as weight compressed beside her. She felt a hand brush the back of her messy hair, soothing the tangles. 

“Okay, okay… I’ll tell you what my job is.” After a heavy sigh, the room hushed to a tense silence, and Peridot peeked up. Bismuth sat on the edge of her bed, face twisted in discomfort. The moonlight from Peridot’s bedside window shone down on the woman, making her deep skin glow rather magically. “I’m a hitman. I get hired to take out targets, and I guess someone isn’t too happy with me right now. They must’ve tracked me down, which means you’re in danger, too.” 

A disturbed shiver rippled through Peridot’s skin, and she hugged the pillow tightly. “That’s… a joke, right? You really are just a medical professor, right?” Her roommate solemnly shook her head. Peridot sat up again, adjusting her glasses and snatching her headscarf. “Okay.”

Apprehension sketched across her features, Bismuth stood. “Just okay?” she questioned worriedly, holding out a hand for Peridot to use. Peridot accepted it, hoisting herself off her bed. 

“What else do you want me to say?” The corner of Peridot’s lips twitched, and she met Bismuth’s dark eyes with a weary stare. Bismuth shrugged.

“We should go now. There’s a safehouse on the other side of town that we can stay in. You’ll be put on the witness protection program and they’ll relocate you to somewhere cozy.” 

“Who’s we?” Peridot asked, but quickly shook her head. “On second thought, I don’t want to know.”

“The less you know, the better,” Bismuth muttered, rubbing her elbow bashfully. “I promise, I won’t let you get hurt. I didn’t mean to get you wrapped up in all of this. I’m just a messy worker, I’m bad at the cleanup. I guess it’s coming back and biting me in the ass.”

Peridot wrapped her hair back up in her headscarf, sloppy but out of the way. She watched as Bismuth mimicked her, using the hair tie on her wrist to secure her chunky dreadlocks. Without another word, Peridot stuffed some underwear and t-shirts into a backpack, grabbing a random book from her shelf as well, and stood at attention in front of her roommate. Silently, Bismuth led her across the hallway to her bedroom, where a man wearing a black ski mask lay contorted on the hardwood floor. Peridot gasped, paralyzed by the realization that Bismuth was  _ serious _ , her knees locking in place. 

A muscular arm looped around her waist, and she ripped her hazel eyes from the dead body, settling on Bismuth’s face. “Do you trust me?” her roommate soothed, looming over the girl and fully blocking the scene before them. 

Peridot nodded slowly, throat dry as embarrassing hot tears dripped down her cheeks. “I… think so.” 

“Good.” Despite the situation, Bismuth’s wide, toothy smile made Peridot’s heart swell and some pressure release from her shoulders. The woman lowered her out of the open window and onto the fire escape, soon following suit. She took Peridot’s hand and guided her down the steep, clanky metal steps. They disappeared into the night. 


End file.
